Don't ever become Unemployed

I'm currently unemployed and looking for a job.

So far I've created three CV's, two covering letters, updated my LinkedIn profile, filled out nearly a hundred application forms, had four interviews, registered with five agencies and feel like I'm flogging one dead horse! 

That is until I came to fill out an online form to make an appointment with the UK Government's flagship, Jobcentre Plus. For all of you who are in a job - you are lucky, so don't screw it up. This thing is the stuff of nightmares - it really is! If you have a spare four hours then just try and get yourself the ability to meet with someone face to face at the job centre, as no longer do they accept the average Joe to walk in off the street. Now you have to go through a Central Government website and provide as much information as possible. That is after you successfully navigate your way round the first seven pages in order to successfully obtain a username and password. 

So what questions do you get asked? Well it starts off easy enough by wanting to know your home address, marital status and date of birth. But then it goes on to more in depth questions such as why are you applying (erm... to get a job???) how much money do you have in the bank and what do you spend it on? Now at this stage after repeatedly going round a myriad of questions in ever decreasing circles I'm starting to lose my rag and feel like telling the Government how much I like smoking funny things, drinking like a fish and eating Chicken Madras from the local takeaway. But of course I don't... I can't stand Madras!

After what feels like an eternity I then hit one wrong key on my laptop and the whole thing grinds to a halt. I can't go forwards, I can't go backwards. Repeatedly I hit any key on the computer in the vain, sad and at this stage desperate hope of miracle upon miracle I can gain some salvation and get back on track. But abandon hope all ye who enter this dark peril called a Government website. My details, are lost. 

So, I take a deep breath, curse, swear and start again!

Enter your username...

Enter your password...

Enter your inside leg measurement...

Enter the first time you ate a Chicken Madras...

Only to be told those immortal words...I'm sorry, your username and password are not recognised. If you wish to make another claim then please follow this simple seven stage process to get you registered and we'll start messing with your head all over again.

At this point I feel like putting my head in my hands and crying. Being out of work is soul crushing and destroying. The days are long and the applications longer. However, every morning I wake up with optimism that today is the day I'm going to be successful, one day I will get there and I will be able to feel what it's like to have money in my pocket and food in my stomach once more. Until then I just have to keep on trying... and trying... and trying. 

Wingwalker. 

Gizza Job

It's 4pm on a sunny yet cold Friday March afternoon.

Outside the school kids chatter loudly as they walk by in groups past my window, eagerly making their way home to enjoy the weekend. Inside, I'm sat at my computer for what seems like an eternity, day in day out week in week out sending off endless letters, CV's and application forms in the vain hope of trying to get some form of employment. 

I've now been out of work for quite some time and had a few great interviews but no offers. I've signed myself up to various different agencies and told the power hungry crazed "agents" what my salary expectations are. I've tidied up my covering letter, my CV and my LinkedIn Profile. I've registered with various job websites, broadened my horizons and even contacted my old colleagues from times gone by. But nothing as of yet. 

Every day the morning starts with trolling the various different emails from the job sites, followed by breakfast. Then, back to the computer and in search of my next application to fill in. The other day I filled out a form to work at an establishment in London. Everything was going well until I was asked the following questions when they wanted to know more about my background.

Were my parents educated to degree standard?

What kind of establishment was I educated in?

Did my household ever receive state benefits?

Did we receive any food vouchers? 

Now - unless I'm missing something specific here, how does that tell an employer whether I as an individual have the ability to perform a specific role? Obviously I'm not going to name the place but I wonder if this is a vision of the future that prospective employers are now asking? 

Later in the day and I stop for a quick break, a quick spot of TV news and then back to the laptop. I make a few calls, hit a few more keys on the computer and my rear end gets numb from sitting in the same spot for hours on end. 

Finally I stop as the light fades and it's getting harder to read what is on the screen. Hopefully tomorrow may bring some good fortune, hopefully tomorrow I may get my dream job or hopefully tomorrow I may just actually get some general work no matter what it is. Soon my wife will be home and so I play the dutiful husband by cooking the evening meal for when she comes in. We sit, we chat about our day and we watch a bit of TV before heading off to bed before starting another round in the morning of dealing with this wretched thing called unemployment. It stinks!

And in case you were wondering...... this is the kind of thing I help to create.

My LinkedIn Profile can be found here

https://uk.linkedin.com/in/david-walker-024090b9


Wingwalker.